Insanity

ok.so literally i'm 18 this year.well on the 27th august to be exact.i dont why,i feel like i'm old.18?dammit.haha.i know its a bit crazy,but yeah i feel like i'm old.god, i have self issues going on.

when my friends said we're 18 and we're going to college or whatever,i feel like i'm gona blow up.cant stand the fact that people are saying i'm 18 already.i feel like everything is going too fast.its pretty pathetic,i know.i dont know why i feel that way.maybe because i enjoyed my life more when i was 15,i guess.yeah i know,pathetic.move on already!

it scares me a little.ok, a lot i have to say.i'm gona further my study soon.doing everything on my own.learn to be independent yadayadayada.all that thing,u know.i bet everybody felt that way before right.at least i'm normal.lol.and new friends.hah!i can be really pathetic during first encounters.not sure if anyone wants to be my friend.it will take time i guess.ryte.like i can handle time.*sigh.

as much as i feel all that,knowing the fact that i'm going somewhere soon gives me a boost of excitement.i can't lie.it's like a new chapter.another journey.feels like i can invent myself again.ok,i should stop this.i'm losing my sanity!damn.haha.i have to fix myself now.

People

i look around and try to figure them out.they way they think and see things.somestimes it amuses me,really.how a teenager could actually have a mind of an 8 years old,or maybe worse.

for instance, they barely know me and never had a decent conversation with me, yet they hate me?yeah, wth right.how can you hate someone you don't even know?i don't get and never will get them.how i deal with them?i don't.

some people are smart when it comes to school.but when it comes to real life,they fail,badly.letting other people take advantage of your weakness and strength is just unacceptable.you know you deserve better,yet you still hold on to the one that bleeds you.why?love.is love really that easy?giving it all away to those that hurt you over and over again?get over it and move on.yes its hard.but then again,what is easy to be done?

fame.really,what is it?what about it that make teens these days are willing to do anything and everything for it?showing off skin,flattering your curves,being around those so-called-famous-people,following the trends.is that really you?what happend to friendship, personality and individual interest?doesn't people value that anymore now?

and then there are people that actually think they're smart,matured and have gone through a lot that it makes them think that they have the right to judge other poeple's lives.saying things like, 'u pernah ke basuh baju?tak gune washing machine', 'i rase die takkan boleh punya masak sendiri,or cuci jamban.die tu manja sgt', 'kau boleh mintak ape2 je yg kau nak kt parents kau.aku xboleh', 'kau xrase semua kesusahan aku time kat hostel' etc etc etc.oh please,people have different ways of learning things.poeple have different journey.maybe not as great as yours,but we will go through it eventually.and if you think 'poeple like me'[if you could understand], never gone through hard times or never felt sad, you're absolutely wrong.you only see what we choose to show.stop acting like you know everything about us, because you don't.

people refusing to hear other people's point of view, unable to accept other people's ideas and always think they know best.i call them narrow minded people.they're quite a challenge to deal with.they never listen.they just talk.they're not as flexible and it's pretty ironic.i had a few arguments with this kind of people.frustrating?yes.productive?no.but then again, how can you expect them to understand you?you're the one who should understand them.


as much as those kind of people pisses me off,i try not to let them ruin my beautiful life or dominate my mind.and thanks to them, they made me become a much stronger and wiser young lady.