When it hits,

I don't know why I'm here, what I'm doing here. I don't even know this place. It's a stranger. A strange place. So foreign to me. I don't want to be here.

I long for a place I've never been given the chance to be in. I miss it. I miss me. It's all falling apart. I'm losing myself with every second i spend here. It's eating me out. This passion I have, I don't even know where it is anymore. It's been buried so deep inside, covered with all the pain, I hardly feel it anymore. Yes, I swear it's killing me. It's all wrong. All wrong. Mistakes.

I can't tell you what it really is.
I can only tell you what it feels like.

I don't know what it is.
I only know how painful it makes me feel.

God, please give me strength to pull it together. I don't want to fall apart.