running away doesn't solve the problem.but at least it calms me down.
I'll walk back home when I'm done.then I'll figure it all out.
I'll be fine.I'll always be.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
:)
if I could make notes for myself and stick it on the wall, I swear all the notes can turn into wallpaper.i just have so many things to remind myself.people forget right,I'm no exception.especially when I'm taken over by emotions,I tend to forget.there are just so many life lessons.each and every one of us has different list.but in the end,everyone just wants to be happy :) and that's all that really matters.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
haram.
kalau cerita pasal haram, banyak benda yang haram.tak payah la nk point out satu-satu salah orang lain.benda haram yang orang lain buat.duduk depan cermin tengok diri sendiri dulu.betulkan salah silap diri dulu.kalau rasa-rasa diri tu buruk, layak ke nak komen dan mengutuk orang lain yang buruk jugak?
do you actually think that you're in a good position to look down and ridicule other poeple for their mistakes?
we are all humans.we all make mistakes
we are all the same.
do you actually think that you're in a good position to look down and ridicule other poeple for their mistakes?
we are all humans.we all make mistakes
we are all the same.
Friday, December 17, 2010
black is MY new black!
I don't know why I suddenly have this obsession over the colour black. I know I know, everyone loves black.but the thing is, I've never looked at black as 'my' colour. I mean yes it's elegant and all but I don't prefer black over any other colours. I've always wanted a 'different' look and I thought black was just ordinary.as my friends put it, I like to make statement with shoking colours.like my red cardigan, pink shoes etc. so I just realized that only NOW that I've actually appreciate the colour black.heh, lambat gila kan, yes I know. so I've been buying black skirt, black blouse, black scarf and I've been looking for a black handbag! what is wrong with me?I've gone mad! ok,I've always been mad anyway, but this is just crazy. semua nak pakai hitam kot. what is my problem?let me just answer myself, I have no idea.oh wth, I'm currently enjoying the colour and embracing my obsession!haha :D
p/s: oh and the picture is to prove how much I love black.haha.and tgh perasan.almaklumlah, tak dapat jadi model.so tak payah kutuk, let me just have my moment ok.thank you
My Snowman
I had a strange dream. There was a girl and a guy, in a cold snow.
I saw a girl under a bridge. I could tell that she was really mad and upset. She was screaming and crying to a guy in front of her. It seems like she's breaking up with him. He keeps on trying to calm her down. It seems to me like he'll never give up on her. Patience was written all over him. But the girl never stopped crying. She looked all messed up and horrible.
That went on for a really long time and I got really cold. Snow was falling even heavier now. It was as cold as the girl was. I got tired of following their drama and I turned around. That's when a saw a guy standing behind me. I didn't realize when he came but it seems like to me that he has been standing there the whole time. I told him I was cold, and that I was sleepy. He didn't utter a single word. We just laid down on the cold snow. I don't know why, I didn't feel so cold anymore. He puts his jacket on me and we faced each other. I could feel his warmth without a single touch. We were staring at each other. The fact that we didn't know each other wasn't even awkward at all. It was peaceful and calming. It's like we're travelling in each other's eyes, trying to find a place called home. I feel safe, after a really long time.
When I looked back under the bridge, the couple was gone. And then I fell asleep. I woke up at a different place. I never knew what happend to the guy who accompanied me. I didn't even know his name. I thought about him every once in a whole now. I really want to get to know him. I call him, my Snowman. And it was a strange dream.
I saw a girl under a bridge. I could tell that she was really mad and upset. She was screaming and crying to a guy in front of her. It seems like she's breaking up with him. He keeps on trying to calm her down. It seems to me like he'll never give up on her. Patience was written all over him. But the girl never stopped crying. She looked all messed up and horrible.
That went on for a really long time and I got really cold. Snow was falling even heavier now. It was as cold as the girl was. I got tired of following their drama and I turned around. That's when a saw a guy standing behind me. I didn't realize when he came but it seems like to me that he has been standing there the whole time. I told him I was cold, and that I was sleepy. He didn't utter a single word. We just laid down on the cold snow. I don't know why, I didn't feel so cold anymore. He puts his jacket on me and we faced each other. I could feel his warmth without a single touch. We were staring at each other. The fact that we didn't know each other wasn't even awkward at all. It was peaceful and calming. It's like we're travelling in each other's eyes, trying to find a place called home. I feel safe, after a really long time.
When I looked back under the bridge, the couple was gone. And then I fell asleep. I woke up at a different place. I never knew what happend to the guy who accompanied me. I didn't even know his name. I thought about him every once in a whole now. I really want to get to know him. I call him, my Snowman. And it was a strange dream.
Monday, December 13, 2010
falling
this is me,swallowing my pride
i let my self fall,again
when i've sworn to myself it'll never happen again.
and there you are,working your way in a crowded room
staring at me,right through my heart
i fell.
run,catch me!
i let my self fall,again
when i've sworn to myself it'll never happen again.
and there you are,working your way in a crowded room
staring at me,right through my heart
i fell.
run,catch me!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
A box of plans.
And finally, I'm free!literally.free from law books and stress. :) this is so absolutely awesome.well I have to say it's a bit weird at first.going back home and realizing that I don't have to open any books and write notes or memorize cases.it feels, FREEEE!
I, finally, after a few months bought a what-I-think-is a good book my Paolo Coelho, Brida.started reading a few pages and I have a good feeling about the story.very awakening.i miss flipping pages of a book, reading every words with my soul and feeling a strange loneliness in a calm silence.
I have a box full of plans and dreams for this 3 weeks time I have for myself. I hope everything goes as planned.I'm putting a really high hopes on it.and I have a really good feeling about this.I hope I won't give up or back out.I need more adrenaline,I am a teen. I should drink more coffee.yeahhh,I don't know how,but somehow I just feel like coffee is my own personal spirit booster.haha.
I think it's pretty obvious that this entry is really really random. I swear I have so many things to say.But I guess I'm just too lazy to type.Twilight is distracting me,urgghhh.I suck at multitasking.I should go now.please pray that everything I planned work out perfectly.I really need it.and now I shall focus on Edward's beauty.byee
I, finally, after a few months bought a what-I-think-is a good book my Paolo Coelho, Brida.started reading a few pages and I have a good feeling about the story.very awakening.i miss flipping pages of a book, reading every words with my soul and feeling a strange loneliness in a calm silence.
I have a box full of plans and dreams for this 3 weeks time I have for myself. I hope everything goes as planned.I'm putting a really high hopes on it.and I have a really good feeling about this.I hope I won't give up or back out.I need more adrenaline,I am a teen. I should drink more coffee.yeahhh,I don't know how,but somehow I just feel like coffee is my own personal spirit booster.haha.
I think it's pretty obvious that this entry is really really random. I swear I have so many things to say.But I guess I'm just too lazy to type.Twilight is distracting me,urgghhh.I suck at multitasking.I should go now.please pray that everything I planned work out perfectly.I really need it.and now I shall focus on Edward's beauty.byee
Monday, November 29, 2010
a wild horse
I walk back home with every single tears shed
walking forward and moving backwards again
doesn't feel like I'm moving
but never do I want to stay here
I want to runaway
I want to run free
like wild horses
can you please let me
Time bleeds me
and the longer I feel
I'm not sure how long it can hold
the clock is ticking
and every second counts
All I ever wanted
is right at the other side of the door
stop pulling me
just let me find my key
let me be
walking forward and moving backwards again
doesn't feel like I'm moving
but never do I want to stay here
I want to runaway
I want to run free
like wild horses
can you please let me
Time bleeds me
and the longer I feel
I'm not sure how long it can hold
the clock is ticking
and every second counts
All I ever wanted
is right at the other side of the door
stop pulling me
just let me find my key
let me be
so-called life
Crying yourself to sleep
screaming in the dark
let the wind blow your hair
and staring outside the window.
screaming in the dark
let the wind blow your hair
and staring outside the window.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
this is for you.
I don't even know where to start. I think I'm not really good with changes. Differences make me feel a little, hm, awkward and different. somehow the combination of these feelings make me feel sad. I saw it coming. long before. but when it finally comes, I'm still not ready. I thought I know what to expect. turned out, I'm not really good at seeing the future. or maybe I just don't know myself enough.
You were all of it.
ALL OF IT.
you were the world to me. I forgot, the world isn't mine.it's not yours either.
you know who you are.yes,you.we don't own the world.
You were all of it.
ALL OF IT.
you were the world to me. I forgot, the world isn't mine.it's not yours either.
you know who you are.yes,you.we don't own the world.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Goodbye.
Hey, look!
You just blew your chance!
What a loss.
Oh well, guess it will fly somewhere else.somewhere better.
Good for it.
GOODBYE, you fool!
Have a great life! :)
You just blew your chance!
What a loss.
Oh well, guess it will fly somewhere else.somewhere better.
Good for it.
GOODBYE, you fool!
Have a great life! :)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
GOING NUTS
I have issues.problem.dilemma.whatever you want to call it.I just can't study when I'm home! it's reeeally extreemely dissapointing.well,I'm not a nerd.I enjoy going to library,but not to stay there for the whole freaking day! I don't know why can't control my own mind.I mean, it's my OWN mind.and I can't even tell myself what to do?it seems to me like my surrounding determines what I'm suppose to do or what mood I should be in.not good.not good at all. I should be on the table right now struggling to memorize tonnes of cases.and yet here I am.in front of the tv,with laptop on my lap.ok seriously Siti Khadijah.this need to stop.you have your final exam next week.why are you here?what are you doing here?why are you still typing??!ok.I will go study.I swear I will.now,can you tell I have issues?ok fine,I'll go.
bye.
God help me!
please.
I don't want to fail my exam.no no.not even in the options.
yes, I'm going.
ok,this is a serious goodbye.
...............
bye.
God help me!
please.
I don't want to fail my exam.no no.not even in the options.
yes, I'm going.
ok,this is a serious goodbye.
...............
Monday, November 15, 2010
Mine.

I can't stop myself from clicking the replay button to Taylor Swift's Mine video clip. It's really awesome, I swear. Because let's be real, at the end of the day, regardless whatever happens or whatever we've achieved, we just want that special someone to be our home where we go back to. and for them to be there every single day. we just want to be happy. I think that's why I've been such a huge fan of Taylor. she writes about true life stories. she made all the simple things beautiful. that's why girls can really relate to her songs, including me. :) seriously,not just some of her songs,all of it! there's a story behind all the lines.
Let's just be frank, all of us,girls especially,want to be the girl in the video.meeting a guy in the most unexpected way and time, and looking at him and just know that our whole life is right there standing in front of us.I know it may sound a bit,crappy i shall say,but it's true.well,at least to me.or maybe I just watched too much drama.whatever it is,the thing I'm trying to point out here is that, we just want to be happy. that simple. we want to have a house, the person who loves us unconditionally and build a family with him. everything else will falls into place eventually. after all, we're all created in pairs and it's a duty to have a family isn't it.
Oh yes,sometimes I do feel like giving up on everything and just wanted to get married and have kids yadayadayada,you know. I feel like that's my life's purpose,and nothing else really matters. but,reality check,I still do have other duties to fulfill.my time will come, I know.scary much.
So, if you're a girl, you should really check out the video.and if you're a guy, you should check it out too, if you really care about whatever i just mumbled about. ;)
p.s: I'm getting Taylor's new CD tomorrow! :D
Saturday, November 13, 2010
we are all
we are all writers
we think
we make decisions
and we write
life is our story
every second counts
every letter matters
so, if it's a horrible story
blame the writer ;)
we think
we make decisions
and we write
life is our story
every second counts
every letter matters
so, if it's a horrible story
blame the writer ;)
Thursday, November 11, 2010
some thoughts.
can I just stop by and say Hello?or maybe Goodbye?I just want you to look at me,even for a split second.
you're the most interesting creature I've ever met,period.are you even human?
I have that magnetic force towards you.it's not that I've never felt that before,but you're just so different.so much more that meets the eye.
do you notice me?have you even looked at me?
"stupid,period."
you're the most interesting creature I've ever met,period.are you even human?
I have that magnetic force towards you.it's not that I've never felt that before,but you're just so different.so much more that meets the eye.
do you notice me?have you even looked at me?
"stupid,period."
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
A Tribute to My First Flower

Can flowers really make you cry? can it make me cry? oh I remember the first time I planted a flower.it was a red daisy, my favourite. I wrote a poem on red daisies back when I was 12.yeaaaahh, I know.wth.haha.anyway,the first time I saw it, I was at my grandparents' house in Muar.it was love at first sight.I loved it right away.still love it now.so I went to Tok Wan and said; "Tok Wan, Siti nak bunga tu boleh tak?nak tanam lah kat rumah.boleh hidup tak?cantik."well,something like that.mind me, I have short term memory loss.and of course Tok Wan gave me the flower.so when I reached home, I planted it on the tiny little garden we had that now become a parking space.
I fed it with love and affection.haha ok I only watered it.and I had hopes and dreams that our garden will one day be filled with my red daisies.and how pretty it will look.and I will take care of it as if they're my babies.
But I don't know, I was just so busy with life and whatnot, I totally forgot about my flower!the next time I check, it was gone.dead and gone.yeah can you tell how long I was busy.I never planted anything after that.
p.s: I've never gotten a flower by anyone my whole life.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
the Art
I look at the art
it looks sad,but with so much hope
wants me to try.
I tried,feeling sympathy.
I went through all the colours
drown in all the different shapes and directions.
At times I feel splashes of joy
at different times I cried of sadness.
I knew what I felt the first time was true
"I can go much deeper than this",
"the depth isn't enough for me".
So I distant myself
it looks sad,the colours darken
as I feel the soul broken
I'm a free-spirited self
but the art strangled me
It is without doubt beautiful,
but not meant for me.
it looks sad,but with so much hope
wants me to try.
I tried,feeling sympathy.
I went through all the colours
drown in all the different shapes and directions.
At times I feel splashes of joy
at different times I cried of sadness.
I knew what I felt the first time was true
"I can go much deeper than this",
"the depth isn't enough for me".
So I distant myself
it looks sad,the colours darken
as I feel the soul broken
I'm a free-spirited self
but the art strangled me
It is without doubt beautiful,
but not meant for me.
Friday, November 5, 2010
A Shooting Star :)
Hey, we went out and you shine
I love staring at your beautiful eyes
Your laugh fills my entire day
Sometimes you act like a fool
But never it lessen anything about you
You're so full and beautiful
You drove me around the city
Paid the food for me
It was a real short and sweet moment
You're like the shooting star
We meet,rarely
But I miss you,always :)
I love staring at your beautiful eyes
Your laugh fills my entire day
Sometimes you act like a fool
But never it lessen anything about you
You're so full and beautiful
You drove me around the city
Paid the food for me
It was a real short and sweet moment
You're like the shooting star
We meet,rarely
But I miss you,always :)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Where do I go from here?
I was in denial. I complain and I hate. Life, these past few months was so astonishingly sad and depressing for me. I rebel, and I cry, and I point my finger to what I thought was the reason for all this. I blame everything around me for making me feel like this and making me go through this life that I've never wanted to become a part of. I blame my surrounding for giving me such a negative aura, I blame my parents for making me do whatever that I was doing now, and I blame my friends for making it more difficult for me. But I never blame myself. I never looked at myself and try to find the reason in me. I was so mad and sad that i forgot. I forgot about the other four fingers that was pointing at me.
I thought that this wasn't what I was born to do. This was never me and it's just what people want me to be. But then again, if it was true, how did I survive my foundation year? And if I really suck at this, how on earth did I manage go get (what to me is) a really good pointer on my final exam during my foundation year?
Yes, and then I found the answer. I was afraid. I was just afraid. I'm afraid of failing and not being able to face it. I don't think that I would ever accept failure. All these while, I'm used to achieving my targets, and here, I feel intimidated and I was afraid. I was living in fear. It's like I could feel it coming, and I keep on running and running and when it hits me, i fall. And i bleed.
It was all in me, all the reasons and answers. But i keep on blaming everything else and unconciously making it more difficult for me. I didn't want a challenge. I just wanted to be happy. But, how do I grow if I don't take the challenge right?
Life will not always go my way, as much as I wish it will. But, I'm trying to embrace it and make the best out of it. I'm not anymore in my comfort zone. I'm in a phase where I have to push myself in order to survive. I can't anymore forsee if I'll excel, suceed or fail. But right now what I can do is just to gather all my courage and strength and face it. Face life. I'm done running. Yes, I did fall and bleed. But now I have an option to stand back up again and face it or I can keep myself bleeding for God knows how long.
I thought that this wasn't what I was born to do. This was never me and it's just what people want me to be. But then again, if it was true, how did I survive my foundation year? And if I really suck at this, how on earth did I manage go get (what to me is) a really good pointer on my final exam during my foundation year?
Yes, and then I found the answer. I was afraid. I was just afraid. I'm afraid of failing and not being able to face it. I don't think that I would ever accept failure. All these while, I'm used to achieving my targets, and here, I feel intimidated and I was afraid. I was living in fear. It's like I could feel it coming, and I keep on running and running and when it hits me, i fall. And i bleed.
It was all in me, all the reasons and answers. But i keep on blaming everything else and unconciously making it more difficult for me. I didn't want a challenge. I just wanted to be happy. But, how do I grow if I don't take the challenge right?
Life will not always go my way, as much as I wish it will. But, I'm trying to embrace it and make the best out of it. I'm not anymore in my comfort zone. I'm in a phase where I have to push myself in order to survive. I can't anymore forsee if I'll excel, suceed or fail. But right now what I can do is just to gather all my courage and strength and face it. Face life. I'm done running. Yes, I did fall and bleed. But now I have an option to stand back up again and face it or I can keep myself bleeding for God knows how long.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
You were
Look at those skies
They're screaming your name
I'll race you to the stars
Drown myself more into you
The speed isn't closing me in
I'd breathe your love
Fade into those glances
The broken clouds open a little space
For you to shine in me.
They're screaming your name
I'll race you to the stars
Drown myself more into you
The speed isn't closing me in
I'd breathe your love
Fade into those glances
The broken clouds open a little space
For you to shine in me.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
-
If what I'm doing right now isn't what i wanted to, and never was my dream, then tell me what should be my reason to keep myself moving forward?
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
When it hits,
I don't know why I'm here, what I'm doing here. I don't even know this place. It's a stranger. A strange place. So foreign to me. I don't want to be here.
I long for a place I've never been given the chance to be in. I miss it. I miss me. It's all falling apart. I'm losing myself with every second i spend here. It's eating me out. This passion I have, I don't even know where it is anymore. It's been buried so deep inside, covered with all the pain, I hardly feel it anymore. Yes, I swear it's killing me. It's all wrong. All wrong. Mistakes.
I can't tell you what it really is.
I can only tell you what it feels like.
I don't know what it is.
I only know how painful it makes me feel.
God, please give me strength to pull it together. I don't want to fall apart.
I long for a place I've never been given the chance to be in. I miss it. I miss me. It's all falling apart. I'm losing myself with every second i spend here. It's eating me out. This passion I have, I don't even know where it is anymore. It's been buried so deep inside, covered with all the pain, I hardly feel it anymore. Yes, I swear it's killing me. It's all wrong. All wrong. Mistakes.
I can't tell you what it really is.
I can only tell you what it feels like.
I don't know what it is.
I only know how painful it makes me feel.
God, please give me strength to pull it together. I don't want to fall apart.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Suprises!
Yesterday was an absolute fun!hehe.terharu gila dyana, nadia, kireen, qis, shahrul, syazwan and rizlan buat suprise.first time kot :D
Mula2 mlm tu dyana n nad, roomates tersyg nyanyi kan birthday song tepat 12am.then that was it. esk nya ada tutorial n lecture law soc. lps tu sume dyana n nad duk bising2 nak blk. sedih gilaaaaa :( to make things worse, i have to call a list of firms for the LCC. birthday kene buat keje. sedih!then tiba2 kireen kesian then offerkan diri nk teman buka sama2.so plan nk pergi OU. ajak dyana n nad tp dua2 mcm mls nk lyn je. ok then dh pukul 4.30 pm nk pergi OU tiba2 kereta kene clampppppp!!!!TERBAIKKKKKKKKK!!!the best birthday present everrrrr! so not funny ok!!grrrrrrr marah gila! last2 we decided to take a cab sbb kireen dgn semangat waja nya nk pergi jgk keluar! dia nk pergi curve pulak sbb xpernah pergi sana. ok so ikut je.
smpai2 sana beli tshirt F.O.S atas hasutan kireen.hehe tp comel so xpe :) then dh nk buka puasa minah tu xdecide lagi nk buka kat mana!boleh x??perut dh lapar gila dh niiii!! last2 gi mcd je. then tiba2 kireen xnk mcd so she bought the meal utk aku sorg je.dia xda. -___________-" aduhh minah ni.dia kata td nmpk ada kedai mkn mcm best je nk mkn sana.so angkut jela mcd tu bwk gi kedai dia tu. then smpai2 je the Garden tu nmpk nadia.then tiba2 dlm otak "eh nadia?apa dia buat kt sini?" hahaha.then nmpk rizlan pulak.pastu br nmpk semua org. hahahaha diorg kenekn aku rupanya!
pastu diorg nyanyi birthday song lagi. dpt cupcakes yg sgt cute!awwwhh.and nad dgn sgt sweet nye take note aku pny status kt fb mlm tu that says "19 candles 19 wishes?". and guess what?i got my 19 candles!!yeayyyyyy!! :D and then makan2, amek gmbr, bual2, lawak bdoh sume as usual.hehe.u guys are the best!love you too peeps!!
and then bila dh blk tu tgh lepak2 kt bilik tiba2 faeqah call.tny kt mana.then aku ckp kt bilik.pastu aku tny dia lupa ke birthday aku hrni.sedih gila xwish2 pown lg!then dia mcm terkejut gila.lupa :( hm xpe lah.at least td dh celebrate. then almost midnight tgh elok2 dgr lagu tiba2 org ketuk pintu bilik dgn sgt kuatnya.SGT KUAT OK! nk gugur jantung!! dlm hati "ni mesti psl clamp td tu.hishhh nk apa lg". then bkk pintu faeqah, sha n aida pgg cake smbil nyanyi birthday song.awwwwhhhh sweet gilaaaaa :) sumpah terkejut. then ajak diorg masuk bual2 kejap, mkn cake then diorg blk.
all and all it was a freaking awesome birthday! a great way to celebrate the last year as a teenager. is there such thing?hehe apa2 lah.yg penting kwn2 suma sgt2 sweet. sayang korg lah! <3333
p/s:pics will be uploaded later on.and the 19wishes list will also be posted when i'm done listing it down. :)
Mula2 mlm tu dyana n nad, roomates tersyg nyanyi kan birthday song tepat 12am.then that was it. esk nya ada tutorial n lecture law soc. lps tu sume dyana n nad duk bising2 nak blk. sedih gilaaaaa :( to make things worse, i have to call a list of firms for the LCC. birthday kene buat keje. sedih!then tiba2 kireen kesian then offerkan diri nk teman buka sama2.so plan nk pergi OU. ajak dyana n nad tp dua2 mcm mls nk lyn je. ok then dh pukul 4.30 pm nk pergi OU tiba2 kereta kene clampppppp!!!!TERBAIKKKKKKKKK!!!the best birthday present everrrrr! so not funny ok!!grrrrrrr marah gila! last2 we decided to take a cab sbb kireen dgn semangat waja nya nk pergi jgk keluar! dia nk pergi curve pulak sbb xpernah pergi sana. ok so ikut je.
smpai2 sana beli tshirt F.O.S atas hasutan kireen.hehe tp comel so xpe :) then dh nk buka puasa minah tu xdecide lagi nk buka kat mana!boleh x??perut dh lapar gila dh niiii!! last2 gi mcd je. then tiba2 kireen xnk mcd so she bought the meal utk aku sorg je.dia xda. -___________-" aduhh minah ni.dia kata td nmpk ada kedai mkn mcm best je nk mkn sana.so angkut jela mcd tu bwk gi kedai dia tu. then smpai2 je the Garden tu nmpk nadia.then tiba2 dlm otak "eh nadia?apa dia buat kt sini?" hahaha.then nmpk rizlan pulak.pastu br nmpk semua org. hahahaha diorg kenekn aku rupanya!
pastu diorg nyanyi birthday song lagi. dpt cupcakes yg sgt cute!awwwhh.and nad dgn sgt sweet nye take note aku pny status kt fb mlm tu that says "19 candles 19 wishes?". and guess what?i got my 19 candles!!yeayyyyyy!! :D and then makan2, amek gmbr, bual2, lawak bdoh sume as usual.hehe.u guys are the best!love you too peeps!!
and then bila dh blk tu tgh lepak2 kt bilik tiba2 faeqah call.tny kt mana.then aku ckp kt bilik.pastu aku tny dia lupa ke birthday aku hrni.sedih gila xwish2 pown lg!then dia mcm terkejut gila.lupa :( hm xpe lah.at least td dh celebrate. then almost midnight tgh elok2 dgr lagu tiba2 org ketuk pintu bilik dgn sgt kuatnya.SGT KUAT OK! nk gugur jantung!! dlm hati "ni mesti psl clamp td tu.hishhh nk apa lg". then bkk pintu faeqah, sha n aida pgg cake smbil nyanyi birthday song.awwwwhhhh sweet gilaaaaa :) sumpah terkejut. then ajak diorg masuk bual2 kejap, mkn cake then diorg blk.
all and all it was a freaking awesome birthday! a great way to celebrate the last year as a teenager. is there such thing?hehe apa2 lah.yg penting kwn2 suma sgt2 sweet. sayang korg lah! <3333
p/s:pics will be uploaded later on.and the 19wishes list will also be posted when i'm done listing it down. :)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
We'll Be A Dream
At times in life, I feel like poeple will just walk beside me when they need me. And when there's a moment in time when I need them to really be there for me, they'll make themselves invisible.
I don't want to have to say this but it's true. I wish it's not. I guess that's life huh. That's how people are, and how they'll always be. There's absolutely nothing I can change about it. And there's no point of even trying to. But I definately can change myself. I don't have to make everyone feel happy. Especially when they doesn't make me feel the same way.
I don't want to have to say this but it's true. I wish it's not. I guess that's life huh. That's how people are, and how they'll always be. There's absolutely nothing I can change about it. And there's no point of even trying to. But I definately can change myself. I don't have to make everyone feel happy. Especially when they doesn't make me feel the same way.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Ramadhan
today's the third day of puasa.
buka puasa with nadia farihahaha just now at mamak.
haha :D
sedap ouhh!
anyway, puasa this time around is a lot harder since i'm fatter now.
i constantly need food to complete me and since it's the fasting month, i feel incomplete the whole day until it's maghrib.then i'll be the happiest kid on earth.
heh i know i shouldn't be saying that.
hikmah bulan puasa adalah untuk tahan nafsu.
ok ok, tgh belajar nk tahan niiiii.
hm.hopefully bulan ramadhan ni dapat keberkatan.
harap dipermudahkan segala urusan.
lately ni rasa macam everything is so hard.
selalu rasa down and sad and hopeless.
bukan nak merungut but it's the truth.
sedih sangat rasa macam ni.
i want to be enthusiastic and happy and excited and all of those things i used to feel.
i could hardly recall the last time i feel so happy and excited.
it's probably during my school years.
yeah i know.sad.
it's so dissapointing that i'm turning into this, stranger.
i feel so disconnected from my surrounding.
i don't feel excited or curious to get to know people or what's going on around me.
i'd be more comfortable alone.
though it makes me sad.
i really really hope i can go through all this and not lose myself.
i just want to be happy.
hopefully this month could bring me at least a little joy and strength.
amin.
buka puasa with nadia farihahaha just now at mamak.
haha :D
sedap ouhh!
anyway, puasa this time around is a lot harder since i'm fatter now.
i constantly need food to complete me and since it's the fasting month, i feel incomplete the whole day until it's maghrib.then i'll be the happiest kid on earth.
heh i know i shouldn't be saying that.
hikmah bulan puasa adalah untuk tahan nafsu.
ok ok, tgh belajar nk tahan niiiii.
hm.hopefully bulan ramadhan ni dapat keberkatan.
harap dipermudahkan segala urusan.
lately ni rasa macam everything is so hard.
selalu rasa down and sad and hopeless.
bukan nak merungut but it's the truth.
sedih sangat rasa macam ni.
i want to be enthusiastic and happy and excited and all of those things i used to feel.
i could hardly recall the last time i feel so happy and excited.
it's probably during my school years.
yeah i know.sad.
it's so dissapointing that i'm turning into this, stranger.
i feel so disconnected from my surrounding.
i don't feel excited or curious to get to know people or what's going on around me.
i'd be more comfortable alone.
though it makes me sad.
i really really hope i can go through all this and not lose myself.
i just want to be happy.
hopefully this month could bring me at least a little joy and strength.
amin.
Friday, July 30, 2010
new place.
alright.so,this is my fourth week here.
it's been really hectic and tiring.
i feel like i don't get enough sleep,which doesn't happen often to me.
i guess i have to get myself use to this because everyone's been saying that this is how it's going to be like in the next four years of my existance here.if i don't have to extend my studies,but that will be another story.
hm ok.i really hope i can get through all of this.seriously,it's getting really scary.
i really want to enjoy my time here.i want to make full use of it.
there's been a lot of incidents that could possibly break all my my strength and spirit but i'm really trying to be strong and take it as a challenge.
it's not that easy and sometimes i feel like quitting would be easier and less painful.but then it would just be a waste.and i really want to get myself to another level.something like improving myself.moving forward.so i guess i have to keep up.
i hope i can go through all this.i really want to prove that i can do it.
ya Allah,permudahkanlah urusanku.amin.
it's been really hectic and tiring.
i feel like i don't get enough sleep,which doesn't happen often to me.
i guess i have to get myself use to this because everyone's been saying that this is how it's going to be like in the next four years of my existance here.if i don't have to extend my studies,but that will be another story.
hm ok.i really hope i can get through all of this.seriously,it's getting really scary.
i really want to enjoy my time here.i want to make full use of it.
there's been a lot of incidents that could possibly break all my my strength and spirit but i'm really trying to be strong and take it as a challenge.
it's not that easy and sometimes i feel like quitting would be easier and less painful.but then it would just be a waste.and i really want to get myself to another level.something like improving myself.moving forward.so i guess i have to keep up.
i hope i can go through all this.i really want to prove that i can do it.
ya Allah,permudahkanlah urusanku.amin.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Educational Trip!
at last, i'm proud to call myself a true Johorean!hahaha.ok over.but like seriously,i'm proud of myself.muzium negeri lain pernah pergi tp negeri sendiri xpernah pulk.haha.
well not anymore sebab two days back i went there with Afiqah and Zyra.it was great!i have always loved going to historical places.so pergi istana Johor tu was definately a time well spent to me! :)
it was b e a u t i f u l! really.it's not like what i imagined it will look like,it was better!interior dia warna kuning and baby blue.i know it sounds weird but you should see it by yourself because it's not something i could describe.selalu kan istana warna kuning je tp istana Johor tu ada warna biru,memang unik gila.but in a good way of course.
my favourite part of the istana was the view of the Dewan Santapan from a level higher.besar ok dewan tu.mcm dewan makan dekat movie Harry Potter tu.haha.masa mula2 tgk tu mmg caught in the moment la.rasa mcm, OMG this is amazing.this place is beautiful.
ok so we were not allowed to take pictures inside the museum, of course.but we did take picture outside of it.hehe.so here's some of my favourites.



i can't believe it took me over 18years to visit the place.but as they say, it's never too late.hehe ;) i was definately mesmerized by the beauty of it. maybe orang lain rasa macam biasa2 je but the thing about me is that i have always loved everything that comes from the past.well,almost everything.the stories, books, places, clothes, language, photographs.it gets me.i know,weirddddd.i'm trying to figure out why.but that will be a whole other story.hehe.alright,until then!
Love,
SK
well not anymore sebab two days back i went there with Afiqah and Zyra.it was great!i have always loved going to historical places.so pergi istana Johor tu was definately a time well spent to me! :)
it was b e a u t i f u l! really.it's not like what i imagined it will look like,it was better!interior dia warna kuning and baby blue.i know it sounds weird but you should see it by yourself because it's not something i could describe.selalu kan istana warna kuning je tp istana Johor tu ada warna biru,memang unik gila.but in a good way of course.
my favourite part of the istana was the view of the Dewan Santapan from a level higher.besar ok dewan tu.mcm dewan makan dekat movie Harry Potter tu.haha.masa mula2 tgk tu mmg caught in the moment la.rasa mcm, OMG this is amazing.this place is beautiful.
ok so we were not allowed to take pictures inside the museum, of course.but we did take picture outside of it.hehe.so here's some of my favourites.
i can't believe it took me over 18years to visit the place.but as they say, it's never too late.hehe ;) i was definately mesmerized by the beauty of it. maybe orang lain rasa macam biasa2 je but the thing about me is that i have always loved everything that comes from the past.well,almost everything.the stories, books, places, clothes, language, photographs.it gets me.i know,weirddddd.i'm trying to figure out why.but that will be a whole other story.hehe.alright,until then!
Love,
SK
Friday, June 25, 2010
I'm back!
So, i have been away.for over a year.hehe
have been busy with life and such.
and then just now,out of the blue, i felt like reading my blog that i have totally forgotton the content of and suddenly felt the rush of wanting to write again.
oh how i missed writing so much!
and as the title says, I'm back bebeh!
and hopefully now i can write consistenly and not be away for that length of time again.
i'll try. :)
have been busy with life and such.
and then just now,out of the blue, i felt like reading my blog that i have totally forgotton the content of and suddenly felt the rush of wanting to write again.
oh how i missed writing so much!
and as the title says, I'm back bebeh!
and hopefully now i can write consistenly and not be away for that length of time again.
i'll try. :)
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